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WASHINGTON – In a game that meant little to the final regular season standings, the Alliance to Save Energy Killer Watts (presented by Sign of the WhaleTM) continued to best the majority of the Environmental Non-Profit League as they cruised to a 15-5 victory Monday night over the Pew Environmental Trust Tree Sluggers. Pitcher and D.C. native David “The” Mann became the first player in Killer Watts history to hit for the cycle, leading the way as the Watts finished an impressive 2009 campaign with an 11-2 overall record.
Having clinched first place in ENPL Heads Division the previous week and with little to play for, the Killer Watts juggled their lineup to get more at-bats for some of the team’s regulars. Outfielder Eric “Ivy League Grad” Plunkett scored three runs and drove in five more from the leadoff spot. In the two hole, Mann stroked singles to center in the first and second innings followed by a three-run triple in the fourth and a double in fifth.  He completed his historic feat by smacking a two-run homer in his last at-bat in the sixth to put the Watts ahead by their final margin. “I still say David should have kept running after he crossed home plate,” remarked shortstop Sean “Porkchop” Garcia, who still owns the ENPL records for most strikeouts (four) and hot dogs eaten (six) in one game.
Mann (3-0) also had an unorthodox defensive lineup around him, as the Watts shuffled themselves into rarely-played positions in the later innings to mark the end of the regular season. Previous starting pitchers Holly Seeloff and Jess Molina also got some work in to prepare for the playoffs. Planted in their spots for the first two innings to stay sharp, regular third basemen Paul “Sock It to Me” Karrer tracked down a pop-up some 25 feet into foul territory onto the next field for the second out of the second inning. With the Tree Sluggers runner on second base inexplicably charging towards third, Karrer fired the ball to Garcia at short to tag the runner for the inning-ending double play.
After earning a first-round playoff bye next week, the Killer Watts return to action on Tuesday, August 4 in the Heads Division championship game against the winner of this week’s first-round game between the TNC Naturals and the American Rivers Fighting Green Weasels. First pitch is scheduled for 6:20pm.
NOTES: The Killer Watts players selected outfielder Joe “Intern X” Teng, shortstop Sean Garcia, and second baseman Jess “Sparkplug” Molina to represent the Alliance at the ENPL All-Star Game later this summer. Molina was the runaway leading vote-getter, appearing on ten ballots…
  
Chimerical Watts veteran Steve Capanna recently signed a minor league contract with Major League Softball’s the Washington Nationals, but was placed on the disabled list immediately due to a severe case of strained finger tendons from hours of typing late into the night at Alliance headquarters. Capanna’s return to softball or work remains uncertain.
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